Updated: Mar 11, 2019

The NO CRAP diet is a safe, effective, and simple to follow eating plan, designed to facilitate weight loss and promote healthy nutritional habits.

  • Aimed at people with a sub-optimal diet (beginners)

  • Eliminates foods that are most likely hampering your progress

  • Focuses primarily on weight loss over body composition change

  • Will not require you to count your calories (hopefully...)

  • Adjustable for your lifestyle. For this diet to work effectively, you should be able to stick to it 3-5 consecutive days a week, depending on your energy levels/dedication to success...


  1. READ THIS ARTICLE THOROUGHLY (you're almost there, keep going!)

  2. APPLY THE 'NO CRAP' RULE WHEN SHOPPING/CHOOSING MEALS. The guidelines are detailed below...

  3. CHOOSE YOUR TIMINGS. This diet is ideally executed over 5 days, for 4-6 weeks. Choose an appropriate start and end point for you, and don't forget to 're-carb' a little at weekends. Also Consider whether you want to 'hard start' or ease in gently (you could do just 3 days this week and progress up to 5/6/7). Don't let your good behaviour fade away into poor eating habits, write it down on the calendar and stick to it!

  4. OBSERVE HOW YOU FEEL. You'll be cutting out a lot of unhealthy foods (mostly Alcohol and Refined Sugars) so pay attention to your mood/energy and compare it to how you felt when you last ate junk...


Crap is an outdated term for faecal matter, or stuff we have no desire to entertain.

Crap is also a mild swear word people used before the word 'shit' came into public acceptance.

But in our example 'CRAP', is an acronym for.....


Refined Sugars Alcohol Processed Foods

So NO CRAP means no Carbs, Refined Sugars, Alcohol, or Processed foods.

Easy to remember, not that hard to adopt. Detailed breakdown for each letter below...

CARBS Firstly to clarify; I'm not 'anti-carbs' or promoting some kind of long-term carbohydrate ban...

I'm just just against consuming carbohydrates while trying to lose weight. It doesn't help.

We're not dropping ALL carbs, just the obvious ones (Bread, Pasta, Potatoes, Rice etc). Basically don't go to Greggs...

So that's a big fat no to...

  • Bread

  • Rice

  • Pasta

  • Potatoes (Sweet Potatoes OK at weekends/off periods only)

  • Grains (Cereals, Granola, Muesli, Cous-Cous)

  • Anything 'beige'

The right carbs are often nutritionally beneficial, just not so much when you want to lose weight. Don't get me wrong you can eat carbs and still lose weight, it's just it's harder to do as you will tend to convert the carbs into energy, instead of your body fat!

Remember it's VERY tough to eliminate ALL carbohydrates from your diet, a full carbohydrate elimination would pretty much place you on a Keto diet (see BLOG page).

The overwhelming majority of foods contain some carbohydrates, even fruits and vegetables, and please don't exclude them, just the less nutritious carbs such as bread, rice, and pasta.


Refined Sugars aren't sophisticated or classy (as their name would suggest), they are in fact rather bad for the body as they tend to release their energy quickly into the bloodstream causing a whole host of metabolic fat-storing after-effects.

Refined sugars include;

  • Chocolate Bars

  • Sweets

  • Sports Drinks

  • Cereals

  • Cheap Sauces (Ketchup, Brown Sauce)

  • Processed Foods (see final section)

Refined sugars are usually found in the obvious bad foodstuffs such as chocolate and sweets etc, but they sneak into a lot of other products too, so here's a simple rule to remember...anything with 'OSE' on the end is some form of sugar (ie; Glucose, Dextrose, Sucrose, Maltose etc).

If your product appears healthy on the packaging, but the ingredients are loaded with Glucose, Sucralose, and Dextrose, it's basically a load of refined sugars masquerading as a healthy item. Put it down, and move along to the fruit and veg aisle.


Find another way to have fun. There I said it. From a trainers perspective alcohol is a tremendous waste of calories, considering we need to be calorie conscious to control our body fat. The average alcoholic drink weighs in at 100-200 calories, and that's quite a chunk of your recommended daily allowance, with no nutrients, minerals, or vitamins worth having whatsoever. Unless you have Pimms...which might have a strawberry in it.


This is a HUGE umbrella term for 'anything processed, refined, or amended by human hands. The aim is to eat as naturally as possible.

Most foodstuffs have been 'tweaked' by human hand somewhere along the processing line; additives and preservatives, e-numbers, reduced fat or sugars etc. We want to eliminate as much of this process as possible and opt for the most fresh and natural option available.

This is of course, highly subjective.

On one end of the scale there's the Freshly Cut Pork Chops. On the other, some sorry looking Billy Bear Ham. And somewhere in the middle there's that kind of posh ham they sell in Waitrose with yellow crumbs on it. The term 'processed foods' can be quite loose, but please apply your brain on this one and go for the LEAST PROCESSED/REFINED/ALTERED/TWEAKED/AMENDED option.

So opt for the fresh salmon instead of processed fish, Lean Turkey Breast instead of Bernard Matthews Ham, Greek Feta instead of reduced fat Philadelphia, and fresh veg from a local supplier which I guarantee brings your more nutrients than the over-farmed crap you get from Tesco's...


Pretty much all the good food Mother Nature has provided us humans for hundreds of thousands of years.

Your diet should primarily consist of;

  • LOTS of fruit and vegetables. Easier to list the one's you can't eat over the ones you can; White Potatoes. Other than that get scoffing all the goodness nature has provided Homo Sapiens for hundreds of thousands of years, and get your daily fix of nutrients!!

  • Quality Protein Sources (Unrefined Meat, Fish, Eggs, Lentils, Beans, Pulses)

  • A decent amount of Healthy Fats (Olive Oils, Nuts, Seeds, Avocado's, Banana's)

  • Lots of water!

If you need to look further, check out the EAT CLEAN Blog, or get in touch via the website to get more information.